Virgin trains – a bit crap

For anyone of a rightward leaning perspective who believes with unwavering conviction that the private sector is always better than the public, responds to customer demands and offers better quality service, a quick call to Virgin Trains will dispel all these myths.

Here’s the scenario. I want to book a train for Mrs Penguin to go to London for the weekend. This little adventure took place on Wednesday. I wanted to send her off on Thursday and to come back on Sunday so that she could have a well earned break away for a few days, see some old friends and have a bit of fun without worrying about such things as nappies and feeds and all the other mundane daily activities that revolve around looking after Little Penguin.

Not hard one would think to book a train ticket for the following day. I started off on their website that, erm, didn’t work, it was down. OK, it happens to us all from time to time so off to the telephone booking service. The premise is simple, book ticket with my card for Mrs Penguin to pick up tickets at the station the following day.

On to the phoneline, which rather wonderfully starts with an automated service. I personally don’t mind automated services that much, the ones that give you options to press buttons one, two or three but I have an absolute hatred of those voice operated ones because, they are simply crap. After not being understood for a few minutes I get passed to a human being. Sadly this human being seems to have even less a command of the English language than the automated service and insists on repeating back to me exactly what I’ve said and confirming every aspect of the booking three times before we proceed to the next part.

Getting through this was a bit of a job in itself but we get to the last part about paying by card. Is it me taking the journey? No, I’m booking it for someone else, I want them to pick the tickets up at the machine in the train station. Sadly though this isn’t possible, it’s my card and you need the exact card the tickets were booked on to retrieve the tickets on top of the code number they give you. Now strangely enough I couldn’t do without my card for four days as it might come in handy for such things as getting money from a cashpoint so this wasn’t an option. The only other option would be to have the tickets sent but even the special delivery option they have costs

Got a fiver

Apparently the Bank of England is a bit concerned at the lack of shiny new fivers circulating in the economy. The lack of them that is. There’s plenty hauled up in the nations bank vaults but the ones that get exchanged by us commoners are getting increasingly older and on the worn side.

I heard the bank’s response to this that there’s no demand for them so they don’t put them in cash machines anymore.

I have a slighty different analysis of the situation. Fiver’s aren’t getting into circulation because waiting to get them from the cashier is a waste of time. We are often told by those ignorant little muppets on the right that the private sector runs things better. Been to a bank lately? Following mergers and branch closures the queues are long and indicative not of a competitive market but of one dominated by poor and slow service.

People invariably resort to the cash machine, although these are drying up even in towns like Willenhall. Of course cash machine don’t do fivers, they sometimes don’t even do tenners.

Why is this one wonders? Is it because as the banks state, there’s no demand from the public? No, it’s all about money, if you excuse the pun. There’s no fivers because it’s in the bank’s interest for there to be none. Banks know how much money people take out of machines. This doesn’t change that much in terms of actual value. After all it’s the same regulars taking out pretty much the same amounts of money. If however the banks offered fivers in the machines, they’d run out quicker and need to be restocked on a more regular basis. So what do we have? Consumer’s best interests of money grabbing greedy banks cutting back to save money, sorry, that should be make even more money than the obscene amounts they already make.

There is of course one other possibility. The larger the denomination that is only available encourages people to go overdrawn at the end of the month when they’re down to the last few quid and hey presto even more money in bank charges rolling in, of course all in the interests of the consumer as usual.

Splashing out

I was extravagant today. It’s not normally in my nature to be so. Much to Mrs Penguin’s consternation I’m one of those people who make do and mend. I hate buying new things when the old ones work perfectly well. My computer is a mixture of cobbled together bits and bobs, mostly second hand or donated stuck together to form a working machine. The last full system I bought brand new was a Toshiba laptop back in 1998 so you get the picture of my consumer habits.

However today, I decided to let rip, treat myself and blow a whole

I don’t like this advert

I’ve commented before that I take a keen interest in advertising at least from the perspective of analysing it for which some are good and others are downright awful. Here’s an example of an awful advert at least in my opinion. It’s broadcast on German TV, not sure if it’s broadcast here as I watch next to no British TV these days.

When I first watched it I didn’t get it which is unusual for me as I’m usually quite hot at this sort of stuff but as I didn’t then that’s the first sign it’s a bad advert. If you want to sell someone something, it’s a good idea to explain it to them, unless of course you’re being deliberately vague and producing a meaningless advert that sometimes works as well.

Anyway, after a few attempts I got it. I already understood that it was trying to say that Renault cars are very safe but the imagery didn’t click. Eventually it did and I felt somewhat insulted but equally bemused at how this could possibly get by as an advertising strategy, at least outside of the confines of the French Republic.

If you don’t get it as I didn’t first time around here’s what it means. Sausage = German, Sushi = Japanese, cracker = who knows? Bread = French. There’s also a different version containing Pizza = Italian and Sandwich = presumably us lot in Britain and a hamburger = presumably the Yanks. So as all these bits of food hit the barrier and blow up or crumple to nothing, the sturdy bit of French bread has a bit of a dent but everything else is OK. So lets get this straight, Renault are saying that drive a German, British, Italian, American or Japanese car and it’s going to blow up the moment you hit something so drive a French one and you’ll be safe.

Now I could understand them broadcasting this in France, bit of the old national pride to build on, always good for loving up the local market, but to broadcast this in Germany and who knows where else and say that their countries cars are crap isn’t just insulting, it’s a truly awful way to try and sell a product.

The upshot of it is that the last car I’d wish to buy would be a Renault purely on the basis that they think I’m going to spend my money on their product while insulting my country. Admittedly we don’t really make that many cars in Britain any more, not British ones anyway but from Mrs Penguin’s perspective to insult German cars is a big no no. In all fairness we can’t stand Renault anyway but that’s purely down to what they do in Formula 1 but please do tell me which idiot thought it would be a good way to sell cars by insulting the people of countries that you’re trying to sell them to?

Comparative economics, carbon off-setting and Kyoto targets

Yes, I’m getting back to a little bit more on the serious issues again but please don’t be put off by the title.

A while back I intended to write a long article that never happened and this issue was going to play a part in it.

The primary inspiration for it was an article on the BBC’s website which I really can’t be bothered to hunt out now which reported that only Britain and Sweden in the EU were on target to meet the conditions of the Kyoto agreement as regards carbon-emissions.

Good news of course to us conscientious environmentally aware and active Brits that we’re leading the world on this issue. I remember too well the news back in the 80′s when Britain was branded the ‘dirty man’ of Europe with our factories belching out sulphur dioxide that was destroying the forests of Norway, Sweden and Finland. We’ve obviously come a very long way since then. Or have we?

Now we’ve had a bit of news the last few days that actually the UK’s carbon emissions rose last year but I’m not going to jump onto that issue to take an all too easy swipe at the Government. I’m more interested in longer term trends and patterns which, at least as far as your humble Penguin can surmise, have gone completely unnoticed.

Here’s where we get into a bit of economics. I want to introduce the concept of comparative competitive advantage. It’s a well established economic theory which basically means one country can produce some goods better or more efficiently than the other so if countries trade the goods they are both best at, the whole system is more efficient, productive etc etc etc.

The classical example of this is to consider two countries. Country A is somewhere say in the Caribbean, nice hot climate but not much in the way of industrial raw materials. Country B is somewhere in northern Europe, much colder climate but relatively rich in terms of mineral and energy resources. Country A can produce Bananas a lot better than country B because it’s got the right climate. However country A requires various agricultural equipment and tools that country B is better placed to manufacture. So they happily produce what they’re best at, trade the goods, everything is more efficiently done and everyone’s happy.

With that in mind I’d like to return to this Britain seeming to be doing quite well on the old Kyoto targets compared to everyone else except Sweden.

I know we’re doing a lot in the UK on this, we should be doing more but we are in terms of our environmental regulation on industry a lot better than most. However this did puzzle me as to why some of the other EU countries weren’t up there particularly those who have been seen to be more ‘green’ than us in the past.

This is where I would like to introduce a ‘new’ concept. Now I have been looking around quite a bit for relevant information and personally I can find no one anywhere who has touched on this issue and it is very important if we are serious about building a long-term sustainable world for the future of our species. As I can’t find anyone who has contemplated this issue then I’m going to claim it as my own although I’d be happy to defer to anyone who can find mention of it else where.

I’m going to call it ‘comparative false carbon off-setting’. Bit of a mouthful I know but bear with me.

This is the theory that by off-setting swathes of economic activity, individual countries can appear at least on the outset as being ‘greener’ than others. So here goes, a brief overview of the UK as an example.

Back in the 70′s, Britain had quite a large industrial base producing goods that were consumed by the British people in Britain. Along comes the Tories and a few million people on the dole later Britain now has a far smaller industrial base which has continued to shrink ever since.

Now have the British become ever more less the consumer. No, and from my own personal experience in comparing to other countries I think it is fair to say that the Brits are some of the most voracious consumers out there. We love all the latest things, clothes, consumer electricals, cars etc etc. So although our ability to produce the goods at home as it were has declined, our desire to purchase has not, and if anything it has increased considerably over the last 30 years.

This means we have to import the goods from elsewhere. We afford to do this by shifting our economic activity to the service sector and here’s where the problem is. However you want to look at it, our economy is built on a service sector that comparably produces less pollution/carbon-emissions than industrial production. Good for us in terms of needing less specific energy for manufacturing, processing raw materials and so yes, when taken from that perspective the UK is doing quite nicely in terms of cutting carbon emissions.

The problem arises from us still wanting the manufactured goods which as they are no longer produced at home come from other countries. Countries that do not have as good environmental standards as ourselves. I’m going to single out China as an example of a country that over the past few years has become a major exporter of goods to the UK. Nothing personal against the Chinese but they have come in for some stick on their environmental record, the rapid growth of manufacturing and their willingness to use high carbon emitting energy sources such as coal to fuel their economy.

Here’s where I find that us Brits put ourselves in a position of being a bit on the hypocritical side because we are happy to blame countries such as China for not doing enough to curb their carbon emissions but that very rise in emissions is of a direct response to the demand for goods by our good selves that the Chinese produce.

We have, through poor economic policy started in the 1980′s left ourselves with the inability to feed those demands at home and thus require not only that the material goods we consumer be manufactured in a way that produces more carbon emissions than it would in our more highly regulated economy, but equally then have to be shipped from the other side of the world incurring yet more carbon emissions.

While countries like France and Germany who aren’t on target to meet their Kyoto targets but still retain large manufacturing bases to supply local demand of their consumers. We have in effect off-set the pollution/carbon-emissions of the manufacturing process required to meet many of our own consumer demands which creates a false image of the relative ‘greeness’ of the economies of different countries.

If we were to try and address this issue by compiling carbon footprints based not just on the economic activity within one economy but by analysing the carbon emissions generated by what is actually consumed then I fear that the UK may not come out in quite so rosy a light as it has done.

Anyway, there’s a thought to consider.

Two quick hello’s

Hello to the person from the Nationwide Building Society looking up stuff about the Portman merger. Nothing personal against your Building Society but yes, that is what happens when another Society takes over another. Sometimes the customers get very arsie and take their business elsewhere.

Secondly a hello to the person from Westminster trying to find my identity. It’s all there, I’ve already told you where to look.

Being an arsie consumer and a sad day for Willenhall

Two days ago I got a letter from my Building Society (Portman) informing me that following their evaluation period their branch in Willenhall has been earmarked for closure along with branches in Albrighton, Bewdley, Bloxwich, Cradley Heath, Oakengates, Perton, Tettenhall and Wombourne.

This miffed me rather a bit, for two particular reasons.

Firstly, when the merger took place or takeover depending on your view between what was my Building Society (Staffordshire) and Portman we were all assured about the commitment to providing services and this wasn’t as some people expressed the view, a takeover and asset stripping by a bunch of southern arseholes (apologies to any readers from the South of England but such views were expressed).

I’ll admit I voted for the merger on the basis of promises made and perhaps a belief in the higher moral principle of the mutual sector which had been based on previous good experience.

However as it would seem, yes, it has been a takeover by a bunch of southern arseholes who don’t give a stuff about their Staffordshire customers. Notably they have not seen fit to close any branches on their own previous turf, just ours.

Equally now, thanks to their readjustment a nice big office block on the Wolverhampton ring road (the previous headquarters of the Staffordshire) now stands empty so this begs the question about what we as customers actually got out of this deal? Apart from a couple hundred quid sweetener. Personally I’d have preferred not to have the money and keep my local branch open.

Secondly, this means that Willenhall, for the first time in its history (post Building Societies existing of course) will not have a single Building Society in the town. I remember myself a time when there were five but sadly it seems that these days have gone. I could understand if Willenhall was some backwater village with half a dozen houses and a few sheep, but with a population of over 30,000 it’s hardly that.

Building Societies have long been the place where people on lower incomes have been able to save as opposed to banks who aren’t interested in such customers. Sadly this means that these people on low incomes and particularly pensioners will be hit the hardest.

For myself I’ve always been with the Staffordshire as have my parents. They set up my first account with them when I was born to put some money away and so did I with my son. I’ve always saved with them and even though it wasn’t the cheapest option I took out my mortgage with them as I would rather do business with a local company that puts money back into the local community and economy.

So what to do now. Probably a few years ago I would have accepted the situation but as I near 30 I’m increasingly vindictive with my consumer habits. If companies piss me off I simply won’t use them again and take my business elsewhere.

So that’s it, come the end of April when Portman merge with/get taken over by Nationwide, this customer will be treating them with the contempt for which his years of loyalty have been treated and taking the merger money and buggering off to the West Bromwich Building Society. At least they do a lot more community stuff and actually have far better customer service anyway.

It pays to shop around – Part II

The second bit of my adventure in Wolverhampton today, or yesterday as it was, centred around the procurement of a memory card for Mrs Penguin’s new Nokia N73 so that she can store lots of videos , photos and music.
I know I could have probably got the item cheaper from some independent shops and a particular one in West Bromwich but I wasn’t really in the mood for spending all day trying to get a couple of quid knocked off the price or waiting to have it delivered from somewhere on the interwebnet.
So I went to the following stores in the main Wolverhampton high street.
Vodafone, Phones4U, Carphone Warehouse and O2. Now these shops are all within about fifty yards of each other so we’d expect a bit of price competition, it being the free market and all with them all trying to out do each other for customers but what I actually found was that this principle of competition doesn’t seem to have made it to this marketplace.
So I’m after a 1Gb card for a Nokia N73. I actually started in O2, no particular reason and nothing to do with them being my operator. Spoke to a nice guy who gave me a price of